Champion, Nick, MP

Mr CHAMPION (Wakefield) (20:01): It is a great pleasure to be speaking on the colt from Kooyong's bill, the Omnibus Repeal Day (Autumn 2015) Bill 2015, which includes such great achievements as the repeal of the Dairy Adjustment Act 1974. We saw the colt from Kooyong sitting here with Mr Tudge, who reminds me of Thumper in George's Orwell's Animal Farm—he is off to the knackery next. Mr Ewen Jones: It is Boxer! Mr CHAMPION: It is Boxer, is it? I thought it was Thumper. But thanks for correcting me. Mr Ewen Jones: Thumper is the rabbit in Bambi. Mr CHAMPION: Thumper is a rabbit! It has been a very humorous and topical 24 hours. I had asked one of my colleagues whether it was Thumper. I said, 'What's that horse's name?' And he said it was Thumper, but it is Boxer. It is Boxer who is off to the knackery. We know this very important piece of legislation, the omnibus repeal legislation, will perhaps stand as a testimony to the colt from Kooyong's ministerial career. He has gone all quiet; he is on the phone. They have not just repealed the Dairy Adjustment Act 1974, which was standing in the way of every business in the country. We know what a terrible and onerous regulatory burden the Dairy Adjustment Act 1974 was! That was stopping so many businesses! I could not walk down the centre of the Munno Para Shopping Centre or the Elizabeth Shopping Centre without someone stopping me and saying: 'You know Nick, I'd open a small business but for the Dairy Adjustment Act 1974. It's standing in my way.' And I would say to them: 'Don't worry. The colt from Kooyong is onto it. It's going to be split up into many repeal day bills. They'll be spread out along the year, but I'm sure the Dairy Adjustment Act 1974 will be in there and you'll be off and running.' We know what they really repealed yesterday. They repealed a prime minister. We started off the day with Prime Minister Abbott— Mr Frydenberg interjecting— Mr CHAMPION: The colt from Kooyong could not help himself, could he? I dangled the hook in the water and out he came, just like a big fish. You know you will have to give up all of that rhetoric about leadership now, because all of you promised the Australian people—this was the great promise—adult government and stability. We heard you going on and on every time I went on AM Agenda with Kelly O'Dwyer, who I think is getting a promotion—maybe to the colt from Kooyong's job. That would be a bit sad, wouldn't it? She has her eyes on you, mate. I used to go on these programs, and they would just lay into you about leadership instability. They elevated it to such a level and then continued to talk about it—on and on and on. And then we roll up and what have they done? They have necked poor old Mr Abbott and replaced him— The DEPUTY SPEAKER ( Mr Vasta ): Order! The member for Wakefield will withdraw. Mr CHAMPION: I am happy to withdraw. Mr Danby: They've repealed him! Mr CHAMPION: They have repealed the Prime Minister, the member for Warringah. We do not know where he has gone. He was not here for question time and he had sort of gone missing there for a long time. The press had to send a helicopter up to find his car and follow him around. What a spectacle! What a spectacle from these people who promised us stability. I remember being here and vividly hearing the Shakespeare that was launched at us, like Macbeth. We used to hear about Lady Macbeth and all the rest of it. I have a quote from Hamlet that might suit the new Prime Minister: That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain; … And be a villain. That was from Hamlet. Mr Ewen Jones: One of your best, Nick! Mr CHAMPION: I was saving that up! I have a fan up there, from Townsville. He has been very helpful to me. Mr Ewen Jones interjecting— Mr CHAMPION: At least he has a sense of humour! Mr Ewen Jones: Et tu, Brute? Mr CHAMPION: I had a bit of Julius Caesar, but I am saving that for another time! I am saving that for another repeal day speech. We know they will come along. I am sure this government's grand achievement at getting rid of the Dairy Adjustment Act 1974 does not end there! There are more redundant acts to be repealed. They will free Australia from this regulation! But having repealed a Prime Minister— Mr Danby: What about all the blokes who are going to be repealed on Thursday? Mr CHAMPION: Well, I am getting to that! Mr Frydenberg: Mr Deputy Speaker, I rise on a point of order. This is a significant, substantive debate about an important bill and deregulation. So far, all the member for Wakefield has done for all the Australians listening to this broadcast is nothing but taint the reputation of the former Prime Minister. The DEPUTY SPEAKER ( Mr Vasta ): I call the member for Wakefield back to the bill. Mr CHAMPION: To be fair to the Assistant Treasurer—the colt from Kooyong—he is also getting rid of five acts from the Treasury portfolio, all of which are spent and redundant. When I was in the Salisbury town centre the other day, a would-be small businessman came up to me and said, 'Nick, I would have started a small business if it wasn't for the International Monetary Agreements Act 1959. That's standing in my way.' We know they have repealed the Prime Minister; it is a sore point, so I will not labour it that much. But if only we could repeal the effects and policies of this Prime Minister. I have seen them in my own electorate, because they turned their backs on a billion dollars of investment from the United States of America in the car industry. They just turned their backs on it. We know the consequence of it: 50,000 jobs. And many people are saying that this will be the cause of recession-like conditions in my state and in the state of Victoria. We know that submarines featured so strongly in the failure of this Prime Minister. If only we could repeal his commitments to the Japanese prime minister, perhaps they are one of the things that will be repealed. According to The Advertiser, the member for Sturt is going to be the defence minister. And, of course, the member for Melbourne Ports reminded me that on Thursday so many of the current frontbench—and this is a farce, when we have people sitting here who are ministers— Mr Danby: Dead men walking. Mr CHAMPION: Dead men walking, on the green mile. That might be one that we roll out for question time, I think. If only we could repeal the cuts to GPs—the cuts to the Medicare benefits schedule. If only we could repeal this pseudo-GP tax, which is going to hack into every GP clinic in the country. Mr Danby: What about the total destruction of the automotive industry? Mr CHAMPION: If only we could repeal these things. There is the $80 billion worth of cuts to health and education—to doctors and nurses, and to teachers. If only we could repeal the low wage growth and the smashed business confidence. If only we could repeal the fact that they have doubled the deficit and pushed unemployment up. Mr Danby interjecting— Mr CHAMPION: And now, as the member for Melbourne Ports so kindly points out, the Australian dollar, which was at US$1.08, is now at US$0.60. There is all of this going on. Of course, we know about some of the other things the new Prime Minister has repealed. He repealed his commitment to the republic. He repealed his commitment to marriage equality. He repealed his commitment to climate change. These are the things that were repealed in the quest to get the crown. He has repealed his commitment to water reform in this country by giving the River Murray to Barnaby Joyce and the National Party. This is the greatest act of vandalism to John Howard's legitimate commitment and reforms in this area—the greatest act of vandalism to that legacy that one could see—giving the River Murray to the irrigators. We know the effect of that downstream in Adelaide. We know the effect of that. The river's mouth is almost closed up as it is, and we are heading towards drought-like conditions. It has been a very dry winter, and we are headed for a very long, hot summer. And we have a Prime Minister who was water minister when Howard handed down his reforms, and what have they done? They have given the River Murray to Barnaby Joyce. And if anyone thinks that is going to be popular in South Australia or with Australians who care about the environment you have another thing coming. We know these things are repealed temporarily; they are a cobbled-together solution for a cobbled-together government. And we know that they are likely to be repealed themselves at some point, just like the Dairy Adjustment Act and the International Monetary Agreements Act 1959—these redundant acts—as will the redundant convictions of this new Prime Minister, with his cobbled-together, ramshackle and divided government. We know that these commitments given to the right wing of his party will be repealed in due course, when the subterranean conviction of this Prime Minister resurfaces later. We know it cannot be dormant for long, given his ego. He thinks he is smarter than everyone else he has ever met in his life. We know the consequences of that: it will be civil war in the Liberal Party. The public may well be tempted to vote for Mr Turnbull. But if they vote for Mr Turnbull, they will get civil war in this government—a delayed civil war. It is delayed by his repealing his convictions to the republic, to marriage equality and to climate change. But that state of affairs cannot last and eventually there will be civil war in the Liberal Party and in the government. People may well vote for Mr Turnbull and get someone else. They may well get Scott Morrison, because we now know that the Liberal Party is capable of anything! They are capable of removing a sitting Prime Minister. The DEPUTY SPEAKER: Order! The member for Wakefield will refer to members by their titles and not by their names. Mr CHAMPION: The member for Warringah and the member for Wentworth—they are who we are talking about. But that is the future of this cobbled-together, ramshackle arrangement that has been made. If people vote for this Prime Minister they may well get someone else down the track, such is the ruthlessness of this government. Such is the ruthlessness and the skittishness and the chaotic nature of its backbench. They are capable of anything. If they are capable of getting rid of Tony Abbott they are capable of getting rid of Malcolm Turnbull. The DEPUTY SPEAKER: Order! Mr CHAMPION: If they are capable of getting rid of the member for Warringah as Prime Minister they are capable of getting rid of the member for Wentworth. The DEPUTY SPEAKER: I thank the member for Wakefield for referring to their titles. Mr CHAMPION: That is what will happen. Mr Ewen Jones: I'm going for deputy next time! Mr CHAMPION: Next time, my friend from Townsville is running for deputy. And he would be a very popular deputy; I think he should put his hat in the ring! We know the defence minister put his hat in the ring—that was hardly a sign of good grace. Apparently—and you would not believe it—he went on Radio National and said it was because he wanted to work with the Prime Minister. You could not write a script like this for The Thick of It. You could not write a script like this. I thought I had seen some farce in this place. I have been known to comment on that—fearlessly—in my own party. But let me tell you: the one thing that the Abbott government promised was an adult government, and stability and caution. They are the bywords of conservatism. And what have people got? Instability, chaos, confusion and division, and that is what they will get if they vote Liberal again.